Today is one of those days,
where uncertainty comes knocking at my door
like a ghost, coming into my room.
I can only dream to change, dream of better days to come,
but as of right now, I have no idea of where Im going.
Its like a race against time, time that hasn't been good to me at all.
Time is supposed to set things right, time is supposed to make you forget.
Time has forgotten about me.
I try to learn, to become a better person and to bring light into my days,
but when you feel so alone, it's really hard to make it happen.
When each day, each step feels like you are carrying bricks,
and with each passing second, more bricks are added.
If I could turn back and rethink, I would do things so much differently.
It's not regret, as my experiences have taught me so much,
but, I would change some of my decisions.
I can only say "I'm fine" for so long...
Like a lie I tell to myself every morning hoping it becomes real.
I know I have to worry less... I know that by worrying nothing gets fixed.
I understand, everything has a PURPOSE, everything happens FOR A REASON,
everything happens IN DUE TIME. But it would be nice, to know some of the reasons...
to know when, when will I be finally happy.
I'm not bitching and moaning, nor crying like a little girl...
But when life hits you so hard, so many times, with iron fists...
You cant help but wonder, when will I be happy?!
This doesnt mean Im going to stop fighting, because Im alone...
I have nobody to fight for me, nobody to fight alongside with me.
I have only myself to fight for myself...
On the brightside, I will only have myself to thank,
when things get better. God and myself... I'll be
self made... what a bittersweet thought. I guess it is better this way...
Alone.
No pain, no ties, no suffering...
But then again, I will be forever poisoned by this emptiness that kills me.
I was given a glimpse of what life could be, I could almost reach and touch it,
And as I did just that, it all fell apart.
Now, on to picking up the pieces...
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